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23 October 2012 @ 09:12 pm
Fanfiction: That Scar can be Healed (1)  
Title That Scar can be Healed
Warning Angst, Rape. (Dx) 
Summary Shige's liked Ryo for as long as he remembers, but when something awful happens one night, his whole view of Ryo changes.
AN: xcuse my horrible summary.. xD But this is my first ever fanfiction, so please tell me if there are any mistakes. Comments are love. \(^0^)/

It was late at night. Shige knew he had exams coming up, so he thought one more hour wouldn't hurt. He grabbed as many books as he could, mathmatics, science, social studies, anything. He sat down on the chair, glasses riding on the bridge of  his nose while locks of hair falling down his face. He buried his nose into one of the books and studied with all his witts. 45 minutes when Shige knew that he would fall asleep feeling his eyelids getting heavier and heavier by the minute. He also knew, that if he doesn't go home now, he'll fall asleep flat on his face feeling the difficult problems wavering around in his head. He shut the book and returned all of them to where they're supposed to be and decided to go home. Just as he stepped out of the library, he saw a new pair of shoes standing before him, bangs covering them slightly. He slowly traced his eyes up at the sturry figure in front of him when his jaw dropped. There they were, those droopy eyes staring right down at him making his heart beat faster the longer her looks.

"N-Nishikido-san..!" Shige stuttered, "What are you doing here?! And, must I ask, aren't you under age to be drinking..?" Shige can smell the faint stench of liquor coming from the red-faced 'Nishikido-san' as he clipped his nostrels with his thumb and index finger while squinted a bit. Ryo groaned. 

"Its.. Non of your.. business what I'm.. Doing here..! And.. M-my friends made me drink.." Ryo said lamely with a sturry voice in between hic-ups. Shige nodded slowly and proceded on going home when he felt a warm hand wrap around his upper arm. He turned around to face a very dizzy Ryo. He stumbled a few times when he went to follow Shige. The younger boy kept quiet. Facing forward on his way home. Ryo leans his chin on Shige's left shoulder making it hot from Ryo's burning face which sent chills down Shige's spine. Shige could feel Ryo's intimidating hot breath against the cold nape of his neck colliding a combination that makes Shige tingle making him weak to his knees. He could feel his blood rushing and creeping up his neck, the pulse of his heart quickening. By now, Ryo's breathing became harder with more pressure, making it so difficult for Shige to breathe from the unwanted pleasure he's getting from the older man.

"Shige.." Ryo mutters. Shige keeps walking and Ryo drags along. By the time they've reached Shige's apartment, this time Shige is being dragged by Ryo. Pulling him up the stairs. Shige feels like his arms is going to pop off of his body anytime now when they've finally reached the apartment door. Shige fumbled in his pocket to find his key pulling it out and then accidentaly dropping it on the floor. 

"Open the door already!" Ryo says impatiently. Shige does as he's told and reaches down to grab the key and opening his apartment door. Once they stepped in the genkan, Shige is pulling off his shoes easily and headed for the couch throwing himself on there. Ryo slumped on the floor. Fumbling with his shoes when he can't think straight. Unable to get his shoes off, he got  frustrated and started grunting very loudly and arched his head back. "Shige~ Help me get my shoes off..!" Shige groaned and arched his head back also. 

"I don't wanna.." Shige says.

"Please..~" Ryo whined.

"Ugh. Fine." 

Shige lifts himself from the coach and walks torwards Ryo. His shoulders were low and his arms were swaying from side to side. He sat down next to Ryo and easily pulled his old sneakers off. While trying to set them neatly in from of the door, Shige notices Ryo's backpack that he hasn't once let go of it. But now that he thinks about it, It's always with him. No matter where Ryo went, It's there. Well, ever since two years ago when Ryo was 17. Shige became curious as to what was in the bag. Not thinking once about the conciquences. Not thinking about what might happen. 

"Ano, Nishikido-san.. May I ask what's inside of the bag..?" Shige says curiously pointed to the worn-out black bag as Ryo looked up at him from where he was laying with shiny eyes. His mouth curved up a little.

"Are you sure you want to know?" Asked Ryo, tilting his head to the side. 

"Just curious." Shige shrugged. 

Ryo's little smile turned into a smirk. 

"Alright, why don't I show you." Ryo grabs Shige's hand and pulled them both into Shige's room. Still drunk, Ryo sways from side to side then finally entered Shige's room and slammed the door shut. He pushes Shige on to the bed getting a groan out of him from how roughly he did it. Shige's heart is beating really fast. He felt like a drum was pounding inside his chest. Shige was more than nervous. He felt his face getting hotter and hotter. He started sweating and shaking a bit as Ryo took a few steps closer to him. By now, Ryo's on top of Shige. He leans in close to the younger boy. So close, their noses bumping slightly. Shige clenched his eyes shut, induring and holding back the blush that's forming in his cheeks.  

"Ne, Shige.. Why do you live alone..? You're only 16," Ryo huffed hot breath onto Shige's face not able to indure the feeling. "You'll be needing a lot of help tomorrow morning.. Family could come in handy in these situations. Also, how come nobody can ever see your face..? Is it because of your ugly hair and large glasses..? Or you just don't want people to see your hidious face..? Wait. That's right. You don't want your ugly face to be seen.. Haha.. Shige is uglyy~ Haha.." Ryo giggled onto Shige's face. To tell the truth, Shige was hurt about what Ryo had just said to him. After all, Shige has liked Ryo since.. As long as he remembers. And being insulted by the person he loves, it felt like a knife being stabbed in his heart, and when its pulled back, that wound wont heal very quickly. But the thing that really upset him was when Ryo asked why he was living alone. Ryo obviously knows. He was the first to know. Shige's family was killed when he was 13 years old. They were all smothered in a horrible car accident. His parents and his older sister. And Shige was the only one to survive the gruesome accident. Of course he was badly injured and severly hurt but he managed. Especially when Ryo was by his side. When Ryo heared about it, he did his best to cheer up Shige all the time. That's what kept Shige on focus. He remembered when he'd always cry himself to sleep, waking up to a damp pillow in the morning. When Shige was 15, he managed to sell the family house and rent an apartment. 

Shige's eyes became a bit watery. He felt something tug at his heart. He didn't like that feeling. It's not like the feeling he usually gets from Ryo. The heart warming feeling. He hates this. It feels like something peirced through his heart. Ryo kept huffing into Shige's face. Shige turned away and pushed his head back as much as possible biting his lower lip and avoiding Ryo's alcohol odour. He sniffles a bit thinking again of what Ryo had said. Eyes closed. His heart no longer beating, but torn into shreds.

"What..? You're going to cry..?" Ryo smugly laughed at Shige, making the pour boy feel way worse than he already is. Shige trys and avoids Ryo's deep eyes that always pull him in as much as he can. "Oh! Yeah! Let me show you what's inside the bag." Ryo started snickering deviously. He pulled out a long peice of rope from the bag and headed torwards Shige. Shige's heart dropped. He began shaking and sweating again, his heart pounding in his chest as he backs away, just by the rope, Shige knew what he was going to get. 

Ryo threw himself on top of Shige once again, pulling the younger's arms above his head and shoved them down. Shige tried to push Ryo away but the older was way stronger than him and Shige admitted defeat. He had no strength in him. Feeling Ryo shoving his arms down, Shige felt weak. Helpless. Ryo tied Shige's arms to the bed and went to grab some other things from the bag. Shige wriggled on the bed, trying his hardest to get out of the situation, but it was no use. Streaks of sweat escaping his forhead and sliding down his temple. Shige watched as Ryo got everything out of the bag. Wide-eyed. Ryo shifted closer to Shige fumbling to get his clothes off. Shige watched as Ryo had trouble getting his clothes off. Useless, ashamed, Shige was frightened. Of course he wanted Ryo. But not like this. Shige's vision became blurry as it was replaced by tears forming in his eyes. He could feel hot, salty tears evade his eyes as they roll down his cheeks. Shige starts crying, feeling dirty on the inside, but couldn't help it. He wimpers and shakes while sliding his knees up when Ryo was finished taking his clothes off. Shige lifts his head forward to where Ryo was facing him. 

"N-Nishikido-s-san.. Why.. Why are you doing t-this..? Will you please s-stop..?" Shige pleaded, but it was no good. 

"Because I want everybody to feel how I felt that night.. Besides, who cares what happens to you? You're ugly, so you don't have anything to lose." Ryo says, bangs sheilding his eyes. 

"No, Nishikido-san.. P-please don't do this.." Shige was begging by now.

That night, was filled with Shige's screams.

-End of Part 1-

That morning, Shige woke up to an uncomfortable, dizzy migrane. His body was covered in bruises all over and he felt numb despite the sharp pains here and there. He was sore and ached all over. Shige glanced at the edge of the bed, gazing at the things Ryo had used on him last night. His faint eyes traced the rope that tightened around his quivering hands. Shige felt disgusted at the sight. He wanted to throw a tantrum and cry his heart out. But more over, he wanted to crawl inside a hole and never come out. Chills scurried down his spine as little goosebumps covered his bare body. A cool breeze from the open window came dancing in his room causing the boy to wrap his arms around himself. He shivered. His empty heart tightened around his chest. He could feel a lump form in his throat when the scene of last night replayed in his head. His vision became blurry as he noticed were replaced by hot tears. They streamed down his face as Shige began taking rough, heavy breaths. He made an inaudible low sob that barely came out of his soundless, sore throat. Shige curled up in a ball and buried his tearstreaked face into his arms. He sobbed heavily as his forearms were dampened by the wetness of his tears. He collapsed on the bed, still curled up, when he noticed his phone vibrate on the dresser next to the bed. He stretched his arm to reach for it. He wrapped his fingers around, and brought it up to his face

'Keii-chan' it read.

Shige flipped his phone open and brought it to his ear. Tears still running down his cheeks.

"Hey, Shi--" Koyama was cut off.

"Keii-chan.." Shige cried into the phone. Faint coughs forming in his throat.

"Shige..? Shige what's wrong?!" Koyama's voice was alarmed. 

"Keii-chan, please c-come here.." Shige stuttered.

"Of course! I'll be be right there!" Koyama hung up the phone and headed his way to Shige's apartment. 


Koyama soon arrived at Shige's apartment and opened it with the spare key Shige had given him. He opened the door and slammed it shut when he walked in. He made his way into Shige's room finding him completely naked and bruised. Still curled up. Koyama's face expression turned in worried. He ran up to Shige and embraced him in his warm motherly arms, not caring at all that his friend is stripped from his clothes.

"What happened to you!?" Koyama tried to hold back his tears. 

"Nishikido-san.. Keii-chan. Nishikido-san did this!" Shige blurts out. "He r- .. Raped me..!" Shige felt weak but responded to the hug. "I don't know why! He said he wants everyone to feel the same way he felt! I have not idea what that means! And, why me?! ..I'm scared Keii-chan. I'm terrified.. Please.." Shige tugs at Koyama's shirt.

Koyama felt the fabric on his shoulder become wet. He clenched his fists

'Ryo-chan did this..? W-why? He's one of Shige's closest friends.' He thought. A mixture of anger and disapointment wavered around in Koyama's body. He dabbed his cheek finding it wet. He realized he w

as crying also. Koyama tightend his grip on Shige's body and nuzzled his nose in Shige's hair.

"Its okay," A muffled sound came out of Koyama. "I'll always protect you.."


Two months already past since that night at Shige's apartment. He hasn't seen Ryo since then and he really hopes he wont see him for the the rest of his life. Shige was doing some house cleaning when he noticed a yellow file peeking out of his dads desk. When his family was alive, they wouldn't let him go near that file. He was always curious to know what's inside of it. He realized it wouldn't be that much harm since they're .. Dead. He slipped the file out of his dads desk and proceded on opening it. Right when he does, his eyes widen as he read the file. The top right of it was a picture of his sister when she was two. They took that picture before he was born. Right next to the picture was her name. First name. No last name. It was only her first name. Under her picture was a word that said.. 'Adopted'. Shige looked at it in disbelief. Of course he was surprised. Shige knew he didn't get along with his sister, wait.. Sister? But he was more surprised that his parents would lie to him. He slumped on the floor, because, he thought this was completely unbelievable. In reality, Shige was actually an only child. He let his head hang, and felt like crying. 

'First Nishikido-san, now this?!' Shige thought.

He lifted his face, his round eyes became watery. He had a lump in his throat. He wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt and grunted. 


A couple of weeks past since Shige found out about his 'sister'. He decided  to talk to Koyama about it, so he invited him over for a cup of tea. He was waiting in his living room for his best friend to arrive. He heard the door bell ring. He walked to the door and opened it for Koyama. They greeted each other and Koyama made his way to the couch. Shige went to make their tea. Koyama tried to make himself comfortable so he turned on the TV. Shige came in with two cups of tea later. Koyama felt the couch cushion dip as it was taking Shige's weight. 

"Keii-chan?" Shige says sternly.

"Hm?" Koyama turns to Shige.

"It's about my sister."

"Yeah, what's up?" 

"I, I just found out that she wasn't actually.. My sister. She's adopted." Shige's voice hushed. Koyama's eyes widen.

"What? Oh my God. Shige I'm so sorry! I really.. I'm sorry." Koyama place a comforting hand on Shige's shoulder.

"It's okay. Thanks for always being there for me." Shige gave Koyama a reassuring warm smile. 

"I'll never leave you, Shige. I'll always be here. We're best friends after all, right?"

"Of course! 


-9 Years Later-
Shige was already 25 years old. He had already graduated from Aoyama University and got a degree for law. He didn't want to be a lawyer though, he only studied for it because he thought it sounded cool. He finally decided to follow his dreams and become a photographer. He'd take anything that people offered him. As long as it concerns money. He needs something to pay off his bills somehow. But he also did it because he enjoyed doing it

It was a hot summer day when Shige was lying on his couch. He was ready to pop a can of beer when he remembered what his friend Massu had offered him. Massu told him that he had a friend who needed a photographer to take photos of him because he was trying out to be a fashion model. (You know, models who pose in front of cameras showing off new trends.) When Shige imagines him, he's a tall, built up blonde guy with a very harry chest and large muscles with a toothy grin. Shige shudders at the thought and wonders if today is actually the day. He decides to call Massu just to make sure. He speed dials his number and brings his phone to his ear.

"Hello?" Massu answers.

"Ay, Massu. When am I supposed to meet up with you friend?" Shige asked.

"Uh.. Today."

Shige didn't see it, but he could feel Massu role his eyes. 

"When?" Shige questions.

"I think around 2:30 p.m. Bro, it's 2:00 p.m. His house will take atleast 45 minutes to get there. There's no way you'll make it." 

"Alright, bye."

Shige hangs up the phone on Massu's face and grabs his keys and runs out of his apartment. 


Shige arrives at the man's house at 2:55 p.m. He locks the car door shut and makes his way up the stairs.

"Aw, sh*t. I'm late." Shige thought as he cursed at himself. He knocked on the door. The door opened almost instantly. Shige glanced upwards, expecting a tall man to be stairing right down at him. He trailed his eyes downwards finding an unexpectedly short man with not blonde, but black shaggy hair. Shige gulped and looked frightened. He looked into his eyes. Anger was raging inside of them. Shige can see it. But, who could miss those dark, deep, droppy eyes? Shige obviously knew who it was. 

It was Ryo.

-End of Part 2-

A/N: This chapter is mostly about KoyaShige's friendship, ne? Well, I needed some kind of way to represent how close they are with each other. And the Shige sister thing, when I reread my first part, I realized that Shige didn't actually have a sister and I needed a way to cover that up. xD LOL

Shige tried to act normal. He hoped Ryo wouldn't recognize him, and indeed Ryo didn't. All he knows is Ryo is grabbing him by the arm and dragging him in. 

"Why don't you come in..?" Ryo smirked.

Shige fidgited. He swiped his arm away from Ryo's tight grip. Shige looked at Ryo with terrified eyes. Beads of sweat started forming in his hairline. He combed long slim fingers through his dark locks. He wanted to get distracted by something and decided to get the set ready so he could get this over with.  He started getting his camera ready. Shige pulled out his large, thick glasses from their case and proceded on clicking difficult buttons into his camera. Ryo took in the scene. Shige's gestured expression was hard. His eyebrows were knitted together and his gaze into the camera screen through his thick lashes  with the glasses kind of blocking them, Ryo though he looked stunning. Ryo bit his lower lip seductivly. His eyebrow made a perfect bridge. 

'Is it me, or are those glasses familiar. Actually he himself is..' Ryo decided to shove the thought out of his head. 

He started inching closer to Shige. Shige, who was too distracted about his camera, didn't even notice Ryo's presence until he felt himself being pinned against the wall by strong arms. He stopped a moment to actually realize what was going on then gasped. A million memories from 9 years ago that dreadful night flashed through his head. Shige started panicking. Ryo set his head on a comfortable place on Shige's shoulder facing the younger's neck. Ryo shifted closer and made the gap between his mouth and Shige's neck smaller as he exhaled hot air onto the nape of Shige's neck. Chills ran up and down Shige's spine. He tried loosening Ryo's grip on his trembling wrists, but Ryo was too strong. He didn't change at all, Shige thought. Shige started wimpering when hot tears started forming in his eyes. He shook. 

"Stop Nishikido-san.. Stop.." Shige begged weakly. 

Ryo planted a sloppy kiss onto Shige's neck, he bit slightly at the red skin making Shige yelp. Ryo grinned. Streaks of tears ran down Shige's cheeks. Ryo detached his mouth from Shige's neck and smirked. 

"You're hot." Ryo winked at Shige. "You also seem awfully familiar, but I just can't put my mind on it. Ah, who cares." He shrugged. Shige's eyes widen.

'First, I was ugly now I'm hot?!'

Ryo started moving in his chest torward Shige's. Shige trembled and panicked even more than before. Ryo's grip on Shige's wrists became loose and that's when Shige thought he should take action. He pulled his hands away and shoved Ryo away harshly making him fall on the ground. 

"What the hell was that for?!" Ryo yelled in annoyance. 

"Nishikido-san.. How could you..?" Shige wiped his tears with his arms. "Do you think I forgot about that night..?" 

"What? What are you talking about? I think you're mistaking me for someone else." Ryo felt his head become light. 

"Trust me. No body would mistake you for anyone else. But.. Before 9 years ago. I trusted you with my secrets. I told you about my family, yet. Yet. You go and stab me in the back. Did you think I'd forget?" Shige started sobbing heavily while he rubbed on the hickey Ryo had formed him. 

"What? Look man, could you calm down a bit? I know I've done many bad things when I was little, I regret them too, but I don't remember ever doing anything to you. I've never seen you before, so fu*k off!" Ryo snapped. 

"Of course." 

"Hey, why don't you make things easier on us and tell me your name, huh?"

"Why should I?"

"Just. Please."

"Shigeaki," Shige glared at Ryo. "Kato Shigeaki."

"Hmm. Shigeaki. Shige--" Ryo cut himself off. His drooped eyes widen and he shook his head in disbelief. "Oh my god, Shige I'm so sorr--"

"No, Nishikido-san. I was young, weak, and vulnerable. And you took advantage of that. I will never forgive you." Shige says making his way out of the door. 

"Shige wait, I.. I was drunk! I didn't mean anything I said or did..!" Ryo tried convincing Shige. 

"First of all, don't call me that like you're so familiar with me. Second of all, everybody knows everything you say when you're drunk is true. " He turns and procedes on what he's doing. Ryo grabs his sore wrist again. 

"Kato-kun, wait! I don't exactly know what I sai--"

"Forget it, Nishikido-san." He snatches his hand away and leaves. Ryo weaves his slender fingers into his silky hair in frustration and gritts his teeth. 

"Damnit." He curses. He turns his head and finds Shige's cellphone lying on the coffee table. "When did he.." He smirks. He lifts it up and eyes the cat strap dangeling from the phone. His grin grew wider. "You never change." He throws himself on the couch. "He's gonna want this back, right?" His mouth forming a toothy grin. 


Shige stomps out of the apartment and slams his car door shut once he's inside. He makes his way to Koyama's apartment. Once he's made it and is making his way up the stairs, he knocks on the door abrubtly. A few second later, he's greeted by a smiling Koyama until his smile turned into a frown. 

"What happened." Koyama found Shige crying in the door way. He went up to him and hugged him. 

"Kei!" Shige yells. He repeats Koyama's actions. "You would never believe who was my costumer today.." Shige sniffed pulling back and looking at his single-lidded friend. 

"Why don't we sit down and talk about it..? Hold on a sec." Koyama went to fetch Shige some water while Shige made his way on the couch. Koyama comes back with a cold glass of water and hands it to Shige, he accepts it and takes a few sips. Wiping away his tears, he sighs. 

"Have you calmed down?" Koyama questions.

Shige nods.

"Now tell me what happened." Koyama suggested.

"It was.." Shige mumbled. 

"It was..?" Koyama repeated.

"It was Nishikido-san, Keii-chan!" Shige blurts out. "He came back." He face palms himself and he can feel his tears well up again. He rubbs his eyes. 

"What?! No way Shige! You're never getting near that back-stabbing bit*h again!" Koyama snaps. Shige was a bit taken back, because Koyama almost never curses. He lets his head hang. Koyama glances at Shige's side face and noticed a small read mark in the crook of Shige's neck. His eyes widen. He pulls at Shige's shoulder. "What's this..?" His eyes peer.

"Oh this? I-it's nothing. Shige lied, trying to cover it with his hand. 

"Shige, did it happen again?" Koyama's voice shook when he gulped. He eyed Shige looking for more hints when he came by his hands. They were red and his wrists were bruised from the pressure of Ryo's grip. "Shige! Did he take advantage of you!?" He held Shige's arms up. Shige snatched them away. 

"I-it was only for a little.. I-I m-managed. I s-shoved him off.." Shige stuttered totally not convincing Koyama. 

"No, Shige. No! You need to report him to the police!" Koyama was losing it. 

"That's not it, Koyama!" Shige screams. 

"Koyama..?" Koyama whispers. 

"I'm sorry, Keii-chan. It's just.. I don't think I hate him.."


"I- I don't know.." Shige stood up "It's just, when he pinned me against that wall, I-I, of course I was terrified. Of course I was."

"Shige, what are you trying to say?!" Koyama became frustrated.

"I felt something else besides being scared.."


"Keii-chan, I felt like embracing him back!" Shige snaps. 

"Shige don't tell me you..?" Koyama shakes his head. 

"Urrrrrrrrrrrghh." Shige grunts.

"You started loving him again?" Koyama tried to reassure Shige.

"I don't think I ever stopped loving him." Shige turned to Koyama. 

-End or Part 3-

Koyama sneered as he took quick glances at Shige. Then he shook his head disappointingly

“I was afraid this would happen.”

“I'm sorry.” Shige apologized

“And after all he's done to you..”

“Well when he said that he wanted everyone to feel the way he felt, after all these years.. It still comes to mind.. I can't get it out!”

Koyama stood silent

“I'm gonna call Massu and thank him for his offer.” Shige shoves his hand in the front pocket of his jeans. He fiddles his hand around unable to find his phone. His eyes widen as he trains his eyes on Koyama who looked up from his seat


“Kei.. I forgot my phone.. There.” Shige gulped

“Oh, c'mon..!” Koyama complained arching his head back. “I'll call you.” Shige nodded. Koyama pulls out his cellphone and speed dials Shige's number. He attaches it to his ear. After a few rings, they are greeted by a husky voice

“Moshi moshi?” Ryo's sheepish voice swims into the phone, making Koyama shiver from the remembrance of his voice. Shige quickly seized the phone from Koyama and replys to Ryo

“He-llo..? Nishikido-san..?” Shige questions. “Um. Well, I forgot my phone at your apartment. I'll come by tomorrow to pick it up. And then, I don't want anything to do with you.” Shige hesitated for a second, but the words were already unleashed from his mouth.  

“No.” Ryo refused

“Excuse me?”

“No.” Ryo repeated

“And, why not?”

“I wont give you your phone unless you listen to me, Kato-kun.” demanded Ryo

“Okay, what is it?” Shige listened

“Not here. Let's go out tomorrow. We'll talk it out from there."

“But--” Shige was cut off

“Kato-kun, we need to talk. Please. There are so many things I need to tell you. Please!” Ryo begged

“Um.” Shige hesitated. “I don't know..” he looked curiously at his best friend. Koyama exhales then nods. “..Alright.” Shige agreed, using Koyama's permission.

“Really?!” Ryo became agitated, but a bit taken back. “..Awesome! Meet me at the small ramen shop close to my apartment building!” A rush of excitement and anxiety was running through Ryo's veins and his heart pace accelerated.

“See you tomorrow then.” Shige confirmed slowly

“Alright, bye-bye.” Ryo hung up

The next day Shige found himself driving with Koyama at the ramen shop. Through out the whole car ride, they were both as silent as death. If there was any noise, it was either coming from Koyama muttering curses or Shige's chattering teeth. Shige was surprised by Koyama, he's never seen him like that before. He's usually so motherly and caring. When they arrive, Ryo greeted Shige with a wholehearted smile and a wave, not realizing Koyama was there too. Shige parked and stepped out of the car. His body trembled. Koyama gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. Shige and Koyama walk up to Ryo. Ryo's smile drops to a frown when his eyes lay upon Koyama

“I thought we were going to be alone.” Ryo says

“Well you thought wrong.” snarled Koyama

Ryo steps aside to get out of their way. He touches Shige's shoulder to scoot him inside the shop. Shige flinches and shudders

“You're sc-- oh..” Ryo's eyes quickly grew dark and gloomy. He dropped his hand and let his head hang. “I'm sorry.” Shige felt a tingle of regret, but he couldn't control his actions. Ryo's eyes meet Koyama's. They were filled with hatred that was no where near hidden. “You're Koyama-kun, right?"

“So?” Koyama glares

“It's been I along time, huh? Well, I understand you must hate me for what I've done, but.. May I please have this time alone with Kato-kun?”

“No way.”

“Please! I beg you! I wont lay a finger on him!” Ryo pleaded. “I just, want to explain everything to him only. Please!” Ryo bowed with squinted eyes. Koyama looked down at Ryo with furrowed brows. He rubbed his temple and gazed up at Shige giving him an 'Are you sure?' look. Shige at first begins to shrug then relaxes his shoulders. He mouths the words 'I'll be fine.' Koyama smiles at Shige sadly and sighs

“Fine.” Accepts Koyama

Ryo looks up. “Forreal?! Oh my God, thank you!!” Ryo nearly screams

“But if you hurt him one more time, Nishikido-san, your life will be a living hell.” Koyama warns

“I wont.” Ryo shot back

“Fine then.”

“Keii-chan,” Shige interrupts. “Where are you going to go?”

“.. Home."

“How?” Shige raises a brow

“Your car, duh.” Koyama says in an obvious tone

“Then, how would I get home?”

“Oh..” Koyama suddenly sees the situation

“I'll take him home.” Ryo suggests

“Huh? You must be joking.” Koyama shook his head

“I promised I wouldn't do anything that hurt him, right?” says Ryo

“It's okay, Keii-chan. I trust him.” Shige smiles warmly

“Okay..” Koyama gives up, seeing the grin break out on Shige's face. “If you need me, just call me.” And makes his way in the car. The engine starts. Koyama waves Shige good-bye and shoots Ryo another 'don't you dare.' glare, and drives away. Then there's awkward silence. Ryo clears his throat breaking the silence

“Shall we go in..?” Ryo impedes.  

Shige nods and starts to regret his decision. Ryo holds the door for Shige, and they enter. They find a booth in the corner of the room and decided to settle there. The waiter comes and they end up ordering two of the newest item they have on the menu, then they wait for their food to arrive. There's irritating silence again and an unsteady Shige. Ryo happens to notice

“You don't have to be frightened of me.. I wont hurt you.” Ryo speaks in a soft tone making Shige wriggle

“I'm sorry.” Shige apologized.

“If it's anyone apologizing, it should be me.” Ryo chuckles nervously. “I really am. I.. I should have never done that. Please, forgive me.” Ryo lowers his head slightly

“No, it's okay.” Shige said

“No it's not. The reason I did that was because.. Because.."

Shige glances up at Ryo. “What was it..?” Shige was fidgeting and he wanted to know extremely, because it's been killing him through out all these years

“When I was 17,” Ryo begins. “Actually, on my 17th birthday, I had a boyfriend okay? And we decided to celebrate it together.”

Shige eyes his hands under the table. “Are you talking about Takeru-san..? The one you told me about?” Shige asked

“Yeah. So anyways, we were having dinner he made for me that night in his apartment, when..”

“When what?” That's when Shige looks up and realizes that Ryo was crying silently. Streams of tears kept rolling down his cheeks. He rubbed his eyes harshly

“The next thing I know, he's standing up and looks at me with a look I've never seen in his eyes before! He pulls me by the arm and drags me to his room.. And then.. Did the same thing I did to to you..” Ryo sniffed. “He pulled me out of my seat, locked the door, and shoved me on the bed.” Ryo's voice cracked and began shaking. “I.. I told him I didn't want to, but he wouldn't take no for an answer..” Ryo stopped trying to hide his tears because he knew it wasn't worth it. “So, after that.. I.. I just wanted everyone to feel the same way I did.. The same feeling Takeru gave me..” The waiter comes in with their ramen and hurriedly scurries away

“So that's why..” Shige said

"I.. I loved him so much, too..” Ryo clasped his hands together. “And whenever I saw people in relationships happily in love.. I despised it. It hurt me so much, and that's when I became out of control. I started doing all that crap.” Ryo sniffled. “I wanted them to feel the way I felt..” Shige takes a moment before it all syncs in

“Wait, you said you hated people in relationships happily in love. Then why'd you do it to me? Shige asked

“I know you were never in a relationship, but you were in love. I could tell just by looking at you. It was so obvious."

Shige felt a rush of embarrassment. He straightened himself. “But.. Why? It doesn't make any sense. Why me?”

“I did it to every person I dated. Girl, boy. It didn't matter.” Ryo changed the subject. He felt pure guilt in his heart as he talked to Shige about this.

“Huh? But we never dated.”

“Kato-kun, do you really wanna know?”

“Yes.” Shige insisted

“After that insident with Takeru, I just told you we broke up, right? Nothing about it. I didn't tell a reason, and you didn't ask either.”

“Yes, because I assumed it would be too painful to talk about it.” Shige says bluntly.

“Indeed it was. But you began comforting me. You'd always ask if I was alright and always try to make plans. You were always there for me."
“What are you trying to say?” Shige inquired softly

“Day by day, I started falling for you,” The words came out of Ryo's mouth like a waterfall. Flowing endlessly. Shige was in deep shock but proceded on listening to the still crying Ryo. “Your laugh, and personality. All. I fell for it all.” Ryo lets out a small hic up. Shige found his gasp stuck in his throat. “As much as I loved the feeling.. It scared me.” Ryo ends dramatically. Shige lifts one of his quivering hands and rests it on Ryo's sweaty, clenched fists. Ryo shifts his hands back hurriedly. “But..”  

“It's okay. Since I'm the one touching you.”

Ryo nodded slowly.

“Please, continue.” Shige said.

“I started hanging out with a bunch of Yakuza to get my mind off of you. And from that night, you pretty much know they're not the best influence.” Ryo chuckled softly. Wiping his runny nose with a napkin the shop left on the table. “And that night, they made me drink so much. I knew you would be at the library and I thought that if I went home, my parents would kill me. Haha, so there was no way I was going home. So I waited for you.” Ryo's eyes started forming more tears the more he talks. “And when I followed you to your apartment, you just had to ask about the bag! So the thing I was dreadfully frightened to happen, happened."

Shige tightens his hold on Ryo's hands

“I raped you.” Ryo whispered breathlessly. “I honestly don't remember what I said, but, oh God. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. If my words hurt you in any way, I apologize deeply.” Ryo bangs his head on the table and lets it sit there. His forehead was touching the edge of the table when he lets his tears rain down his face as he sobs harshly, breathing heavily while creating a puddle of tears under the table. His fists grip tighter when Shige feels his vein pop out

“I had no idea you felt that way.” Shige tries to hold back the tears

“So I just left you. I didn't wanna hurt you anymore.” wheezed Ryo. “You know what's worse? Right when you told me who you were, these nostalgic feelings came rushing at me, and I'm not as slow as you so I know that I fell in love again.” Ryo sighs. Shige inhales softly wide-eyed

“Nishikido-san, you know I'm--”

“Afraid?” Ryo completes. “I know. And even though we just met again yesterday, I'll wait.” Ryo lifts his head up to face Shige and grimaced halfheartedly. “I don't care how long it'll take. I know I'm always the sharp tongued impatient man, but I'll keep waiting for you.” Ryo reassures. Shige felt his eyes dampen, he quickly turned away

“C-can I have my phone back?” Shige mumbled.

Ryo sniffled and wiped away his tears. “Oh yeah.” And smiled again, pulling out Shige's phone from his pocket. “If you don't mind, I put my number in there.” Ryo gave a toothy grin. “Call me whenever.”

Shige takes his phone and nods. “Why don't we finish our ramen?” he suggests, already splitting his chopsticks in half

“Okay. Just let me go to the restroom first.”

Ryo comes back five minutes later

“Did you wash up?” Shige looked up at Ryo, slurping down his ramen

“Yeah.” Ryo responds. They dig in their cooled off ramen and have small talks about what they're doing in life. Simple conversations. When they have finished their food, Shige stands up to go pay for their meal.  “Where are you going?”

“To pay.”

“You don't have to.” Ryo stands. “I already did.”

“What?! When?”

“On my way to the restroom, now let's go.”

“You didn't have to.”

“You're welcome.”

They exit the shop and find their way to Ryo's parked car. Ryo opens the passenger door for Shige, Shige shakes his head

“I'll drive. You don't know where I live.”

“What, you don't live in your old apartment anymore?”

Shige stood silent.

“Get in! I'll drive you!” Ryo yells. Shige enters the passenger seat and Ryo gets in the drivers. Shige squirmed in his seat, catching Ryo's attention. “I told you, I wont do anything to hurt you, don't be scared.”

“I'm not.” Shige fiddled with his hands



It seemed to take Ryo really quickly once they started driving, because it took them no time at all to arrive. Like he's been there plenty of times to know the place. Shige opened his door and unbuckled his seat belt. Right before he steps out, he turns to Ryo. Ryo's face was already so close, so when Shige turned, their noses were millimeters apart. Surprised by the sudden action, Shige flushes and turns his head away. The beat of his heart sped and his face was creeping a deep red.

“I just wanted to say, th-thank you for having me today and opening up to me..!” Shige rushes. He glances at Ryo's wide red, swollen, and puffy eyes. “I.. I'd like to do this again.” He smiled awkwardly and stumbled out of the car. He shut the door behind him, smiled one more time and waved Ryo good-bye. He started walking away

“Oi, Kato-kun!” Ryo stopped Shige's tracks. “Hold on a sec.” Shige turns around

“What is it?”

“C'mere, I gotta tell you something.” Ryo motions his hands forward. Shige opens the car door and bops his head inside the car. “Lean in a bit. I have a secret.” Shige does as he's told and pushes his body forward, closer to Ryo's. He leans the side of his face close to Ryo's mouth, and right when he's close enough, Ryo smirks and gives him a quick peck on the cheek. Feeling Ryo's soft lips against his face, Shige's face became heated and down right bright red. Ryo's kiss made his heart pound. He accidentally hits his head on the roof of the car.
“I gotta go!” Shige dashes out of the car and rubs the top of his head. Right before Ryo could stop him again and ask for his number, Shige was already entering his apartment building, leaving Ryo with a stunned half smiled expression. Ryo gazed over the horizon at the orange-pink vast sky and the almost faded whispy clouds

“He's so adorable.” Ryo muttered

-End of Part 4- 

A/N: This one was probably the longest chapter so far, ne? Sorry for making it so long. -.-; The next chapter will probably be the end of the story, so stay tuned till then and thank you for reading my fic. ^_^
Current Mood: nervousnervous
Crumplestiltskincrumplelush on October 25th, 2012 10:42 am (UTC)
You need to have a warning in your summary for things like this. Some people can be triggered by reading this sort of thing so you need to let them know so that they can avoid it.
lavy85lavy85 on December 12th, 2012 05:16 pm (UTC)
What happen next?
What ryo mean with that he want everyone feell what he feel?
Update please?
newsnoainewsnoai on December 14th, 2012 12:21 am (UTC)
Of course! I've been really busy lately. I apologize. -.-'
angelcry12angelcry12 on December 27th, 2012 01:08 am (UTC)
awwww koyama is so sweet!!!!! I love the KoyaShige friendship

I wonder what Ryo meant by that I hope you'll update soooon :D

love your story <3
newsnoainewsnoai on December 29th, 2012 05:15 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I will update soon when I have the time. ^^
xxMiki_Chanxxxxmiki_chanxx on January 16th, 2013 03:17 am (UTC)
OMG!!! I really LOVE your fic!! It's really amazinG! :D
newsnoainewsnoai on January 17th, 2013 03:11 am (UTC)
Thank you!! ^_^ I'm glad you like it! ♥